Inspiration

I haven’t really been posting on here have I?  Well I there’s a reason for that…

OK gimme a sec here.  This isn’t exactly easy to say.

<Deep Breath><Long Exhale>

I live at home with my parents.

<cringes>

Now please note that is not the reason I haven’t posted.  Its a contributor to the main problem. Its also a good starting out point.  You see the one thing I’ve never really figured out is how to be comfortable in public situations.  I would like to thank my experiences in elementary school for putting that little nugget into my psyche.  So I never really figured out how to socialize.  Now you give me a goal to meet that will give me a foreseeable outcome and I’ll be fine.  When I go to conventions, go to classes, or go to my job, I can walk up to anyone and sweet talk them till they are my best friend.  But going out just to go out to converse with people I’ve never met is very difficult for me. I also have a small problem making friends with people i work with.  I become social with them and friendly, I’m really nervous that I’ll say something disastrous and working with them will not work.  So because of that, I have stayed at home where I feel safe.

Now you’re probably scratching your head and moving your cursor to that little ‘X’ button at the top right corner of your screen.  But here’s how all of that contributed to me not posting.  You see I just got home from seeing Captain America…Stop laughing.  I warned you guys at the beginning I was Comic book nerd.  Anyway, when I got out of the theater my mind was going again.  It was then I realized what I have been missing…Inspiration.

It’s very hard to be inspired when you live in the same surroundings you’ve lived all your life.  Nothing new, nothing to get the juices flowing.  No one new to give you new ideas.

Now When i got out of the movie and realized that I was inspired again, I thought back to when the last time was that I felt like this.  I realized that it was every time i was at or leaving a comic book convention or a really good movie.  Reason I know this is because I always write after these things.  I come up with more stories for my world, a new character, or I kick ass on a design project…which i denigrate later, with this blog, because I know I can do better.   But due to my current circumstances (both domestic and work related), that inspiration doesn’t last long.

Now I know what many of you are saying right now, <Ahem> “GO OUT AND HIT THE BARS!  MEET A WOMAN YOU JACK ASS!” <cough> Ouch, you guys yell too loud for my throat.  Maybe you should stop smoking or something.  😛

But in response I would say…you’re right.  I should.  Can you lend me a fifty?  I’m broke. I got a credit card but I’m trying desperately to get it paid off.  But i can safely say I am changing.  I’ve already got tickets to a concert in Chicago and I’m considering checking out a burlesque show around the same time.  I’ll be going somewhere for a whole week in September and I’m flying to new york in October for the New York comicon.  If you’re there say hi.  I’ll be wearing the brown fedora.  I am trying to get better. So hopefully I’ll be posting more of these.  So I apologize that I haven’t been as able to entertain you like I was hoping to be doing since April.

I would like to ask one thing.  Post responses if possible.  One thing that would help inspire me is to know that people, whether they are enjoying it or hating it, are reading it.  If I knew that, I would be inspired so much.

Well I’m off, got to work on my podcast and my on-line entertainment company…Oh yeah, I also got an internship to redesign a company’s web site.  I guess things are starting to look up…though my pocket book is probably not too happy that I decided to start buying comics again.  😀

type ya later,
James McGill

 

Ahh The Distractions

Ok, Its been a while. I’ve been promising and promising a new post and I have not been delivering. Not a good start for a blog designed to help me find a new job. Well let me explain a little bit why this happened. All my life, or at least since I’ve been aware of it in 2nd grade, I’ve had to deal with ADD. Attention Deficit Disorder if you haven’t heard of it or you’ve been living under a rock for the last 20 years. Now I’m not going to go and claim that I am a victim of my condition and that it isn’t my fault…it is….well I mean my current situation not the ADD. I was born with that. The reason why I haven’t been posting is because for the past two months I’ve had three jobs:
1) the Big Box – Pays me money and keeps me from having to sell my kidneys to pay for my social activities, schooling, and my car.
2) School – Gives me knowledge. Makes me a better person. Gives me the skills to get out of menial labor that gets me paid at the Big Box.
3) My on-line blog/portfolio – Will help market my skills, persona, and subsequent website to potential employers who would like to Employ an interesting person such as myself.

Now I’ve had a lot of…hurdles, you could say, to get over. Challenges if you will. For instance if I am doing something, be it writing a story, playing a video game, or doing my job at the Big Box, I have a need to get to a certain point before I can stop. If I am forced to stop before I reach that point, I can get frustrated and annoyed. Now I have figured out how to not show the annoyance and mental anguish (too strong a word?) that occurs. This is very common among people with ADD.

Happily, I’ve figured out a lot on how to deal with my ADD. However over the years I have noticed that I have developed some interesting habits. One of these is that when something gets really important, I tend to concentrate on that and nothing else really. This is what happened around the end of April. School was ending, I had finals coming up , and I didn’t want to do badly by not paying enough attention at school. My attention was already split between school and work and I had split it again with this Blog and the Start of designing my website. So I decided to put the blog to the side and concentrate completely on school.

A month goes by and I finish. Now I can start back up again right? Nope. The following two weeks I had two major events occur. After each of these events, both of which were physically intensive, it took a few days to relax. That wasn’t easy since I had to work the days following. So that’s six weeks that you guys had to do without my Angelic company. I know I’m sorry your lives were so gloomy while I was gone. I’ll try not to leave you like that again…at least until I get a new job.

What? What about the last week? The time line I gave you only covers up until a week ago…hmm. Well…yeah, we had an act of Bad Social Engineering occur at my house. You see the town I live in likes to buy Police Vehicles and hire cops who don’t really have much to do instead of upgrading their sewer systems. That means every time we have rain that lasts longer than 3 hours, our basement floods. Yeah lots and lots of fun. So last year we thought we fixed it by having a stop valve installed. It worked. We had no Sewer water come in. However, apparently the pipes we have under our house were kind of broken and when the ground got saturated with water, it came pouring into those pipes and up through our basement drain. So For the past week, we’ve been cleaning the basement and construction has been going on down there. Not the best environment to be creative in. Now I know many of you will say: “James! Why didn’t you go to the library or somewhere its nice and quiet?”

My problem with that is, I’ve never really like public places. The chairs are never really comfortable. There’s always other things going on that look so much more fun than what I’m doing. I like picking specific places that are really comfortable, generally my house (or apartment if I ever move out), to do my work. Now we’re back to my ADD. If things are going on around me, I have to know what they are. Its a small compulsion. I deal with it quite well, but if I go to a public place I would have to do it when there is a good chance their foot traffic will be at it’s lowest.

Now you know why I haven’t been posting. But I’m back. School is over. I now have a AAS in Web Design (if they ever mail it to me) and I can completely concentrate on my blog and my website. Plus the twitter account. Follow me if you like. I’m @JHMProject. You can find the link on the side of this blog. I still don’t get Twitter, I really don’t. But Its proven to be a great marketing tool and I should learn all I can about it. Anyway, thanks for your time. I’ll be back. I promise.

Type ya later,
James McGill