Inspiration

I haven’t really been posting on here have I?  Well I there’s a reason for that…

OK gimme a sec here.  This isn’t exactly easy to say.

<Deep Breath><Long Exhale>

I live at home with my parents.

<cringes>

Now please note that is not the reason I haven’t posted.  Its a contributor to the main problem. Its also a good starting out point.  You see the one thing I’ve never really figured out is how to be comfortable in public situations.  I would like to thank my experiences in elementary school for putting that little nugget into my psyche.  So I never really figured out how to socialize.  Now you give me a goal to meet that will give me a foreseeable outcome and I’ll be fine.  When I go to conventions, go to classes, or go to my job, I can walk up to anyone and sweet talk them till they are my best friend.  But going out just to go out to converse with people I’ve never met is very difficult for me. I also have a small problem making friends with people i work with.  I become social with them and friendly, I’m really nervous that I’ll say something disastrous and working with them will not work.  So because of that, I have stayed at home where I feel safe.

Now you’re probably scratching your head and moving your cursor to that little ‘X’ button at the top right corner of your screen.  But here’s how all of that contributed to me not posting.  You see I just got home from seeing Captain America…Stop laughing.  I warned you guys at the beginning I was Comic book nerd.  Anyway, when I got out of the theater my mind was going again.  It was then I realized what I have been missing…Inspiration.

It’s very hard to be inspired when you live in the same surroundings you’ve lived all your life.  Nothing new, nothing to get the juices flowing.  No one new to give you new ideas.

Now When i got out of the movie and realized that I was inspired again, I thought back to when the last time was that I felt like this.  I realized that it was every time i was at or leaving a comic book convention or a really good movie.  Reason I know this is because I always write after these things.  I come up with more stories for my world, a new character, or I kick ass on a design project…which i denigrate later, with this blog, because I know I can do better.   But due to my current circumstances (both domestic and work related), that inspiration doesn’t last long.

Now I know what many of you are saying right now, <Ahem> “GO OUT AND HIT THE BARS!  MEET A WOMAN YOU JACK ASS!” <cough> Ouch, you guys yell too loud for my throat.  Maybe you should stop smoking or something.  😛

But in response I would say…you’re right.  I should.  Can you lend me a fifty?  I’m broke. I got a credit card but I’m trying desperately to get it paid off.  But i can safely say I am changing.  I’ve already got tickets to a concert in Chicago and I’m considering checking out a burlesque show around the same time.  I’ll be going somewhere for a whole week in September and I’m flying to new york in October for the New York comicon.  If you’re there say hi.  I’ll be wearing the brown fedora.  I am trying to get better. So hopefully I’ll be posting more of these.  So I apologize that I haven’t been as able to entertain you like I was hoping to be doing since April.

I would like to ask one thing.  Post responses if possible.  One thing that would help inspire me is to know that people, whether they are enjoying it or hating it, are reading it.  If I knew that, I would be inspired so much.

Well I’m off, got to work on my podcast and my on-line entertainment company…Oh yeah, I also got an internship to redesign a company’s web site.  I guess things are starting to look up…though my pocket book is probably not too happy that I decided to start buying comics again.  😀

type ya later,
James McGill